My throat hurt, my nose was stuffy, and I had a bad sinus headache. I hit snooze one time and then remembered that I had to be home by 6:15 so that Pam could leave for work. 5 minutes later I was out of bed, dressed, and in the car headed to the gym.

Today was the second day of my half marathon training plan. A 5 mile run consisting of a 1 mile warm up and cool down sandwiching 3 miles at 8:57 min/mile pace. It was not a fun run by any stretch of the imagination. I made it through, but struggled a lot. I really expected it to be easy to complete and was a little upset with the actual difficulty of it.

There’s probably a combination of reasons why I struggled. I only ate a 150 calorie protein bar and drank a bottle of water before the run. That’s not a great breakfast before going for a 5 mile run. Also, I’m sick and am having a hard time breathing. My nose is stuffed up and my throat hurts–maybe I should learn to breath through my skin!

All in all, I’m proud of myself for getting the job done, but it wasn’t fun. I’ve got 9 more miles to go this week (2 tomorrow and 7 on Sunday) and that will be 16 for the week. The plan increases by 10-15% per week until I hit long runs of 12 miles at week 14. Here’s to not being for the rest of the time!

—
Related Articles at Get Fit Slowly:

• On Feeling Fit
• Ask The Readers: How Do You Like Lifting Weights?
• Finally Healthy!

Now that my running goal is out there in two places (here and here), I decided that I really need to make a plan to accomplish that goal. So I went over to Runner’s World and accessed their Smart Coach website.  It’s a cool little interface where you type in a previous race time, how many miles you’re currently running, how hard you want to train, what distance you’re training for and how long you have to train for it.  Then it spits out a week by week plan tailored to get you to your goal.  The one thing that it doesn’t do is let you type in a goal time for the race you’re training for.  So I’m not sure how fast this thing thinks I’m going to run my race.  But all of the workout paces look like they’re about right.  If you need a race training plan, you might want to check it out.  If you’re interested here’s the training plan that I was given.  I might modify it a bit, but it’s the general plan that I’m going to follow to get enough miles in so that my body is ready for the half marathon in May

One of my first tasks was learning to track every penny I spent. As I learned to do this, I didn’t worry about anything else. I didn’t try to reduce my spending. I didn’t judge myself for buying too many comic books. I just tried to get into the habit of recording my spending.

So, too, with physical fitness.

As I prepare to resume my journey, I realize that there are a lot of things I need to do in order to succeed. When I look at the big picture, it can be intimidating.

So, instead, I’m granting myself permission to think small. As with personal finance, I’m going to begin by tracking what I do: both my caloric intake and my physical exercise. I’m not going to judge myself. (Well, I’m going to try not to anyhow.) I’m not going to try to eat only healthy foods. Right now, I want to begin painting a picture.

I’ll confess that I am simultaneously shooting for a calorie deficit, which means I’m incorporating two tasks at once. But I’m not judging myself if I miss. If I aim for 1800 calories each day, but one day end up at 2300 or 2800, so what? Actual calorie reduction is Step Two. Today I am focused on Step One, and that’s just tracking my intake.

I mentioned the other day that I couldn’t make myself use FitDay. Somebody suggested using an iPhone app. I almost dismissed this idea. Although I have an iPhone, I haven’t actually downloaded any applications for it. Something made me change my mind, though, and I’m glad I did.

After a week of use, I think Lose It! is brilliant. It’s cute, customizable, and convenient. It’s not exactly robust, but in a way that’s better. Its sheer simplicity keeps me focused on the only thing that’s important for me right now: counting calories. Look for a full review in the future. (One downside: bizarre units of measure. “Pieces” for tortilla chips instead of ounces? Makes my head hurt.)

I have to admit, I’m fairly pleased with myself over the past week. I’ve been diligent about tracking my calories, and though I’m not making it a priority to reduce portions and to eat healthfully, for the most part I’m doing so anyhow. I’ve also gone for a three-mile walk on each of four afternoons. This feels like a good start.

Meanwhile, GFS/GRS-reader bethh struck a deal with me. She’s mailing me an indoor bicycle trainer (the exact model I had put on my Amazon wishlist), and I’m going to send her a check and some of Kris’ canned goods. By the end of the month, I hope to be adding regular exercise to my list. With my bike in my living room, I’ll have no excuse!

• I went out Thursday and Friday night and made some mindful choices about my eating and drinking, but still wasn’t as healthy as I could have been.
• On Friday afternoon, I went for my outside run and felt absolutely terrible.  In fact, I only made it about 25 minutes before I gave it up for the day.  It was cold and I was all stuffed up so I packed it in.
• Then on Saturday, I played golf and had my best half-round ever.  (I won’t mention the other half)
• Pam ran 22 miles on Sunday morning, I watched football and played with the kids, and then we entertained Sunday night so we had a very busy weekend.

Also, we stayed up a bit later than normal last night, and when the clock struck 4:45 I wasn’t in any mood to go to the gym.  When I got there I did a quick 10 minute warm up on the treadmill, hit the weights for 45 minutes, and than ran another 2 miles at the end.  It was a good, fast, hard workout.  The best part was that I felt great on the treadmill at the end–even after free squatting for the first time in months.  Maybe I just needed to rest my legs a little bit more after my long run last Saturday.

This week, I’m going to concentrate on keeping track of my calories again and hitting the gym all three mornings.  Plus, I’m going to continue my afternoon nap time runs.  I hope to see a little bit of downward momentum build on the scale this week as well.  It seems that both JD and I are back on the right track–it makes me excited for the future.

• When I lost 40 pounds in 1997, I did so because I counted calories.
• When I biked 2000 miles in 1998, I did so because I logged my progress in an increasingly elaborate spreadsheet.
• When I paid off my debt, I did so because I tracked every penny I spent.

Although record-keeping helps to motivate me, I still view it as a sort of a crutch. I’m not sure why. Still, I’ve decided that it’s a crutch I need to use. I’m trying to get back in the swing of using FitDay.

The problem is, I’m finding it difficult to actually get into the flow of things. When I spend money, I generally have a receipt, which makes tracking my financial affairs much easier. But when I eat, nobody gives me a receipt for the calories.

I find that I can keep good records at FitDay for a couple of days, but then somehow I lose my focus. I forget to enter a breakfast, and then a lunch, and then I’m off track again. Or I “cheat”. I eat a cookie, but don’t enter it into the database, thus invalidating the whole point of recording data.

Obviously, this is a behavioral issue. At my money blog, I often write about circumventing personal finance problems through the use of “money hacks” — little mind-games and tricks that you can play on yourself to force the desired outcome.

I guess what I’m looking for here are some suggestions of “fitness hacks” that I can use to make sure I record my data. I’m sure that many of you count calories, too. How do you make sure that you get the information recorded completely and in a timely manner? Do you carry a piece of paper with you? Do you force yourself to log the information immediately after a meal? Are there iPhone-friendly apps for doing this sort of thing?

First of all, it took me a long time to get started toward my fitness goals. I mostly sat around and wrote about getting fit instead of doing anything about it. It wasn’t until a Get Fit Slowly reader prodded me into action that I was able to get off my butt and get to the gym.

Two steps forward, one step back
For several months, I did well. I exercised. I tried to watch my food intake. (I ate healthfully for me, but that’s not saying a lot.) By mid-summer, I had dropped 20 pounds and was down to 26% body fat.

Then, of course, I injured myself while training for the marathon. Several of you &madsh; most notably Greenman2001 — cautioned me that I was ignoring the “slowly” part of my mantra. I didn’t heed your warnings. Instead, I kept plowing ahead.

When a family health crisis occurred and my nagging injury did not improve, I lost my focus. I was able to tread water for a couple of months, but by November I was starting to put on weight. Now, at the end of the year, I’m back up to 197 pounds and 31% body fat.

It would be easy to become frustrated by this turn of events. Actually, however, I’m pleased. Sure, I wish I’d kept off the weight I’d lost, but look at the net gain for 2008. I lost 10 pounds. That’s not a lot, I know, and my current habits are poor, but it is progress.

A brand new day
My goal for 2009 is more modest than 2008. I’m not going to try to lose 40 pounds. I’m going to try to lose 20. I know I can do it. I’d done it by mid-year last year. If I can get down to 177, then I only have to maintain for the year to meet the goal. More than that, however, I want to change my diet so it’s healthier still. (I’m eating better than I was at the start of 2008, but still have my weaknesses.)

I went to the gym yesterday to renew my membership. As soon as I’m finished writing this, I’ll get out of bed, put on my gym clothes, and exercise for the first time in a month. It’s going to feel good.

What about you? Did you meet your fitness goals for 2008? Whether you did or you didn’t, are you happy with your progress? What are your objectives for 2009?

Though I may not post as often in the coming months, I’ll still be here, and I still plan to share my progress. I hope you’ll join me.

In fact, the other day, Pam came up to me out of the blue and said, “Hey Mac…I just read in Runner’s World that some research group qualifies you as a runner if you run 50 or more times per year. Are you a runner?”

I responded emphatically with a quick “Absolutely, I’m a runner!” There are two things about this that surprised me. First off, until this year, I never would have even considered wanting to be labeled as a runner. But I have to admit, I’m rather proud of the fact that I’m a runner. At least in some research groups eyes anyway. But I was also very surprised at how quickly and definitively I responded to the question and at how much pride I have in saying that I’m a runner.

A few seconds later, Pam continued…”It says here that you’re a frequent runner if you run over 100 times per year. Are you a frequent runner?”

This time I paused and thought a bit. I don’t really know the answer, so I responded something about how I’m probably flirting with becoming a frequent runner. I’ve kept pretty good records of all my workouts this year, so I could probably go back and count my runs and get a pretty good estimation of how many runs I’ve completed. But that would be, well, a little bit anal retentive. We can’t have that now can we?

I’ve been sick for the past couple of days, and that’s made a couple of crazy things happen. I’ve actually applied two other reader tips!

Just do it
Some GFS readers encouraged me to just eat the damn vegetables. This might seem like lame advice to some, but it’s actually not bad. (Once during one of our phone-based training sessions, Lauren was tired of hearing me whine. Just solve the problem,” she said. I thought this was good enough advice to jot down on a sticky note that I keep at my desk.)

Last night, Kris offered me some acorn squash and roasted golden beets for dinner. She was just kidding around but I said, “Sure.” She did a double-take. “Are you my husband?” she asked. I smiled wanly.

I tried the squash but did not like the texture or the taste. It was mushy, and not in a good way. Plus I didn’t like the balsamic vinegar Kris had drizzled on it. Strike one.

But — gasp — I liked the beets. They had the consistency of potatoes, and they tasted like the earth. I could eat them again.

Eat what you like
Tonight I took another piece of reader advice to heart: eat the fruits and vegetables that you like.

“You know what I’m hungry for?” I asked Kris. She shook her head. “Watermelon,” I said. “I have an intense craving for watermelon.”

We don’t have watermelon in Oregon in late October. We do, however, have grapes — luscious purple Concord grapes.

I’ve always claimed that blackberries are my favorite fruit (followed closely by watermelon), but now I know that’s not true. During the last two weeks, I’ve discovered that I’m crazy for Concords. I love to suck the meat and juice from the skin, tasting the sweet-tart juice (like liquid summer!), extract the seeds with my tongue, and then slurp the grape down like an oyster.

So tonight, instead of watermelon, I ate an orange and a bunch of grapes.

Not the end of the world
I still feel sick. I have a mild fever (99.5 — my normal body temp is 98.2), and am exhausted. I can’t focus on anything but my book (The Godfather). But who knows? If I’m sick long enough, I may even begin eating broccoli!

The pain was bad all week. Sharp pain in the lower right back right above my butt.  Sometimes,  the pain travels down into my butt and across the front of my hip.  It hurts to bend over at the waist, it hurts to get up off the floor, it hurts to lay on my back on a hard surface, and it hurts to rotate my hips when I’m laying on my back.  But the pain isn’t terrible, it’s just there.  I can function fine, but I can’t exercise as hard as I’m motivated to do at this point.  I want it fixed so i can get back into the groove at the gym.

I knew going into it what the outcome of my appointment was going to be.  I knew there was no way that I was leaving the office with a diagnosis.  He was either going to say rest your back and don’t do ANY lifting or strenuous activity for another 2-4 weeks and your pain will go away.   OR he was going to say that we can’t tell if you slipped a disk without an MRI and I don’t think you need one since you can basically function fine.

Well, if you change the word “OR” in the previous paragraph to the word “AND” you’ll have exactly what he said.  So, no MRI for me, no diagnosis for me, just rest and it will go away.  That sucks huh?

Don’t get me wrong — I do like some vegetables. Corn is great, and so are carrots. I like both peas and asparagus (which are basically the same taste in different packages). I like onions and garlic and potatoes and lettuce and spinach. And…

Well, that’s about it.

I know vegetables are good for me, but for some reason I do not like the way they taste. (Or, in some cases, the texture.)

My number one nemesis is broccoli. Hate the stuff. But it’s not just broccoli. I hate all of the cruciferous vegetables, which is too bad — they’re full of nutrients.

I don’t like string beans, either, though. Or cucumbers or squashes or beets or tomatoes. (I do, however, like all tomato products — it’s just the tomatoes themselves that bug me.)

Because of my problems with vegetables, healthy eating is sometimes a challenge. (Note that I do like most fruits, however. There are some melons I don’t care for, as well as certain drupes, but mostly I’ll eat fruit.)

The question I’ve begun to ask myself is: does it matter that I don’t like these foods? At one time, I didn’t like onions. At one time, I didn’t like clams. At one time, I didn’t like wine. I love all three now. Might it be possible to learn to like beets? Or cabbage? Or — gasp — broccoli?

For the past couple years, Kris has been on a campaign to introduce me to one new vegetable per year. One year it was onions (success!), and another year it was cucumbers (stalemate!), and another it was tomatoes (failure!). On my own, I’ve been trying to force myself to eat despised vegetables in certain social situations. The first time Mac and Pam cooked dinner for us (back in 2000!), they prepared spaghetti squash. Oh, how my heart sank when I saw it — and yet I ate it and did not die.

To some, this aversion to vegetables seems childish. Maybe it is. It doesn’t matter, though, because it’s very very real. Telling me to “grow up an eat your vegetables” is like trying to force a debtor to save. It’s not going to work. The change has to be approached in different ways.

I’d love to hear how other people have learned to overcome food aversions. How did you learn to eat your vegetables? Do you have other foods that you hate? Have you managed to overcome your dislike, even a little? My wife hates legumes, for example, but she’s discovered she likes hummus. It’s a small beginning, but it is a beginning.

How do I begin with broccoli?

As many of you know, the Portland Marathon was held this morning. I spent most of the spring and summer training for the race, suffering a series of injuries, and learning how real runners run. My goal was to run 26.2 miles this morning.

I didn’t do it.

I didn’t walk the race, either.

But I did go to the gym for an hour of upper-body lifting, followed by twenty minutes of intervals on the treadmill, and finishing with some stretching. It felt great.

I know that I’ve done the right thing, foregoing a mediocre race this year for a well-prepared race in 2009. I have a year to get ready, and my physical fitness is already way ahead of where it was when I started this year. (I’m about where I was in late June, I think.)

My legs still give me pain when I run, but it’s mostly minor stuff like shin splints. And because I’m only running twice a week for about three miles, it’s not a big deal. I take a day off when I need to. If the pain gets too bad, I walk, or I stop to stretch. I’m not pushing myself. I’m getting fit slowly.

About time, huh?

Congrats to Mac’s wife, Pam, for running this morning, and to everyone else who participated in the race (or any other marathon this year).

I’ll be on vacation this week, so my posting may be light (or non-existent). Have fun!

But isn’t there always a catch?  Friday I felt a little twinge in my back while squatting.  It wasn’t anything big, but it was definitely there.  I thought it was so minor, that I didn’t even mention in it my Friday blog entry.  But by Friday night, things were definitely taking a turn for the worse.  Every once in a while since then, I receive a sharp pain in my lower back on the right side, just above the back of my hip bone.  It doesn’t radiate down my leg, it’s not directly on my spine, but it definitely doesn’t feel like any muscle pain I’ve ever had before.  It worries me a little bit.

It didn’t help that I had big plans for the weekend and that I didn’t alter them at all.  I rebuilt my chicken coop–hauling 2X4’s and 4X8 sheets of plywood from the truck to the pasture and twisting and turning while sawing them definitely put some stress on my back.  By the end of the day Saturday, I was popping Advil.  Sunday I played golf because I HAD to, finished up my chicken coop and hung with the family–all the while popping more Advil.

Needless to say, I didn’t hit the gym on Monday morning, and I didn’t go again this morning because I know it will hurt.  I need to get in there and see if I can do the elliptical machine or the bike–I know running is out of the question for now.

So now I’ve been injured doing stronglifts 2 times.  Maybe it’s a beginners weightlifting program, or maybe it’s for guys who are young?  Maybe what I need is a remedial weightlifting program?  It’s too bad that I see such great results from a program that really only takes 30-45 minutes 3X a week.  I really like the program.

So what’s next?  I don’t really know.  I’m not going to lift this week.  And if my back isn’t significantly better by Monday, I’ll make a doctor’s appointment.  I really hope it doesn’t come down to that.  In the mean time, I’m going to have to watch what I’m eating more diligently with the hopes that I don’t put on a little bit of weight due to the lack of exercise. I’m also going to have to get back to my personal trainer’s workouts until I’ve dropped some more weight and gained some more strength.  Then I’ll get back on the stronglifts program when my body tells me I’m ready.

During our winters, he spends a few months in New Zealand, helping friends on a dairy farm. And for two brief windows, John is at home, here in Oregon. From what I can tell, he spends his time watching football and doing yard work.

I like him.

When I saw his car in the driveway on Saturday, I went over and knocked on his door. He was delighted to see me. “Let’s set outside,” he said. And then, a courteous host, he asked, “Can I bring you a Mountain Dew?”

“No thanks,” I said. “I’m watching what I eat.”

“That’s great,” he said. “You do look thinner.”

“I’ve been dieting and exercising,” I said.

“Oh, I hate that stuff,” he said. “I stay healthy by working. I’ve never led a sedentary life. I’m 72 and feel as healthy as I’ve ever been. Well, my knees give me trouble sometimes, but otherwise, I try to stay active.”

We sat for an hour on his porch, discussing boats and neighbors and politics. He sipped his Mountain Dew. I munched on some grapes from the vines that grow wild around his property. He told me about fishing (I don’t know anything about it). I complained about how overgrown our yard is becoming. “It’s too much to handle,” I said.

John told me how fun it was to see my personal finance blog in Money magazine. “I told my friends that the guy who wrote that was my neighbor!” he said.

After a while, I took my leave. “I should go,” I said. “We have company coming, and I have chores to get done.”

“It’s good to see you,” John said. “Hey. You should come up on the boat next summer,” he said. “You’re welcome to come.”

“You know what?” I said. “I think I will.”

I was late for the gym this morning. I just felt like I had to get some writing done before I lifted weights.

When I went out to the car at 11:30, John was in his yard talking with another neighbor, Tom. Tom is 82, and has had heart trouble recently. He looks fit and healthy at the moment, but I know he’s concerned. I went over to say hello.

“What are you up to?” John asked, pointing at the piece of paper in my hand.

“I’m off to they gym,” I said. “That’s my log. I keep track of the weights I lift.”

“That’s crazy,” John said. He’s not the sort to hold anything back. “I’ve never understood why anyone would pay for a gym membership when they can get plenty of exercise at home. Look at me,” he said, and he motioned to his lawn. There was a pile of trimmings and lawn tools — he was in the middle of yard work.

“I’m active,” John said. “I don’t need to go to a gym. Just look at that yard of yours. If you were outside pruning things, you wouldn’t need to go the gym, either!”

We laughed, but I knew he was right. Hadn’t I just been complaining about my lack of time for yard work the other day? Still, I said good-bye and climbed into the car and drove to the gym. I lifted weights. I drove home.

But a part of me wondered if I couldn’t come up with some sort of weekly yard plan that gave me 30-60 minutes of labor every day. I’d kill two birds with one stone! I think that’s a great idea for the future, once I’m trying to maintain a certain level of fitness. But for right now?

Right now I want to keep plugging along with Body for Life. It seems to work for me: I feel strong, happy, and healthy.

I did not eat anything else that afternoon.

In the evening, Kris and I joined Mac and Pam for dinner at a nice restaurant in Salem. Again, because it was my free day, I ordered what I wanted. I had an appetizer of three pork ribs in a sort of soy sauce. (And sampled some of Kris’ salmon fondue.) My entree was “penne diablo”, a pasta dish with crab and pork sausage in a spicy tomato sauce. It wasn’t subtle, but it was tasty. For dessert, I had apple pie and ice cream.

As we ate, Kris and Pam admitted they could not understand the struggles that Mac and I face every day with food. For them, eating sensibly is natural. For us, it is not. Pam asked about my current regimen, eating six small meals a day.

“Do you feel this is sustainable?” she asked. I admitted that I did not.

“Six small meals a day means about 300 calories per meal,” I said. “And it’s difficult for me to find interesting food. Spinach is fine, but I don’t want to eat spinach salads every day. That’s the challenge, I think: to find a way to make lasting changes with food.”

For me, those changes include creating sensible, balanced meals that satisfy my sense of adventure and my craving for food that tastes good. But more than that, I need to learn to eat in moderation. For Kris, one chocolate chip cookie is enough. Not for me. I want three or four — but eight is better.

Discovering this balance is a process, though, and I’m working toward it.

Craig, shucking oysters before book group. That’s me in the background,
taking a picture from a different angle. Photo by Courtney Cronk.

On Sunday, our book group gathered for dinner. We discussed M.F.K. Fisher’s The Gastronomical Me. Fisher was a gourmand, and The Gastronmical Me is a book devoted to her life-long discovery of food and the pleasure food brings. Reading her descriptions of honest wine, honest fish, honest bread, and honest cheese made me really very hungry.

Because I knew in advance we’d be eating well for dinner, I was forced to make a decision: Should I stick to the Body for Life six-small-meals-per-day plan, or should I do something else to prepare for the evening meal? I had no desire to limit myself to only 300 calories.

I chose to eat two small meals for breakfast and lunch, and then nothing between noon and six. This was a conscious choice, though it may not have been the best one. Actually, I did very well, sampling the pancetta-wrapped halibut, trying two oysters (my first two oysters), enjoying the asparagus, and limiting myself to two glasses of wine. (I did very well, that is, except for the bread. I ate too much bread.)

As we discussed the book, I tried to articulate the psychology of eating. “I think there are three types of people,” I said. “There are those for whom food is an experience, a thing to be loved. I’m one of those. For another type of person, food is merely nourishment, a source of calories. And a third type doesn’t notice food at all.”

Those weren’t my exact words, and in retrospect, I’m not making the distinction as clearly as I’d like, but I still believe it. I love food. I love to eat. While it’s true that I eat compulsively, and that this is a very real problem, it’s my love of food that will always make dieting a challenge.

“What you need,” Kris told me the other night (as she’s told me many times before), “is to learn to practice moderation. It’s fine to love food. But you need to do it in a way that makes sense.”

As always, Kris is right. While I continue to exercise on the Body for Life plan (which is going quite well, by the way), I need to think about ways to combine my love of food with a healthy diet in ways that are sustainable. I believe that moderation is going to be key.

On Monday, as I talked about correcting my course, Greenman had an interesting comment:

When a plan goes wrong in the Army, the brass debriefs the participants, calls in some outside experts (that’s me), and produces a “Lessons Learned” report, which informs the next plan. What does your “Lessons Learned” report say, JD?

I’ve thought a lot about this over the past couple days. (And, to an extent, over the past couple months.) Here are five things I’ve learned from my adventures in fitness this year:

Set realistic goals
It’s okay to have big goals, but it’s important to also maintain realistic expectations.

When I decided to get out of debt, I told myself I wanted to pay off $35,000 in five years. That was a big goal, but I believed I could do it. Turns out I beat my goal by almost two years. But if I’d decided I wanted to pay all my debt off in just twelve months, I would have been setting myself up for failure. I wouldn’t have come close to achieving my goal.

Similarly, it’s fine for me to want to run a marathon, and to lose 50 pounds, and to bike across Oregon, but it’s unrealistic to believe I can go from couch potato to doing all of these things in just nine months.

Establish priorities
It’s important to prioritize. By knowing which goals mean the most, and which goals lead naturally to other goals, you can decide what to accomplish first. In my case, I was trying to do too much at once. My attention was scattered. And, as many readers have noted, I was putting the proverbial cart before the proverbial horse.

Now I realize there’s a natural progression to what I want to accomplish.

First, I need to develop good eating habits and build a base of fitness from which I can pursue my other goals. For the next twelve weeks, I intend to follow the Body for Life program to completion. (I cut it short last spring when my attention shifted to other goals.) This should help me learn the behaviors I need to continue improving my health and fitness. It should, in theory, also help me lose weight, another goal along the way.

Having achieved a basic level of strength and fitness, I can spend a few months preparing to run, and then once again tackle marathon training next April, but much better prepared than I was in 2008.

Remember the basics
In his comment on Monday, Greenman suggested I have a sort of emergency backup plan for when things go wrong. “There were no tools in your toolbox for dealing with major interruptions,” he wrote. “There still aren’t. Your plan strikes me as being somewhat inflexible.” He has an excellent point (and one he’s been trying to make for months). The only plan I have now is to keep the fundamentals in mind at all times.

During times of stress, it’s especially important to be mindful of the basics. As with any skill, once you begin exercising (or eating right), it can become second nature. That’s both good and bad. It makes things easier under normal conditions, but it also means we become less mindful about our behavior. We’re doing it out of habit rather than choice. Stress can derail us, and suddenly we find ourselves following our old habits rather than the new.

If you sense yourself losing control, don’t panic — simply force yourself to be more conscious about your choices. If, like me, you have particular books or articles you find inspiring, go back and re-read them. Remind yourself of the core tenets of your program.

Plan to succeed
When I began exercising in March, I planned my exercise sessions. Every night, I would sit down at the kitchen table and review my last couple workouts. Based on my notes, I would then construct a plan for the next morning. This was great. It gave me that outside structure that I crave. (I know this was actually internal structure, but it felt like external structure because it came from Past J.D. and not Present J.D. Yes, I know I’m strange.)

Similarly, my marathon training worked well because I had a plan and I followed it. It was only once I began to deviate from the plan that things got hairy, leading me to injury.

This week, as I’ve returned to the gym (and yes, I’ve gone all four mornings so far), I’ve made a point of planning my workouts the night before. There’s something about these sessions that put me in the proper frame of mind. In fact, I like them so much that I’m going to try something similar with food.

What if on Thursday I was to prepare my meals for Friday? If I have trouble making the right choices in the moment, maybe I can make them in advance. Maybe I can plan to succeed rather than leaving it to chance. (And the whims of my belly.)

Share your progress, but share judiciously
There’s no question that sharing your progress with your friends, family, and folks on the internet can help keep you motivated. But it can also have a negative effect. Share your goals and your overall progress, but unless you need specific advice, keep the details to yourself.

I’m an open person. For the past ten years, my life has pretty much been an open book, available for anyone on the web to comment on and criticize. Constructive criticism can keep me motivated. It can help me spot problems I’m not even aware of. But too much criticism, or the wrong kind of criticism, can actually thwart my aims.

For the next 11-1/2 weeks, as I work through Body for Life, I’ll still share bits and pieces of how things are going, but I’m going to employ a stronger filter than usual. It’s important to me right now that I finish this on my own terms, doing the best I can as who I am right now. I don’t want to get distracted by comments that lead me to self-doubt.

Conclusion
So, there you have them: the five things I feel I’ve learned about fitness over the past six months. They may not be the five things you’d hoped I learned, but they’re the lessons I’ve learned nonetheless.

I want to make it clear that I’m not really disappointed with my progress. I’m down 15 pounds for the year, I’ve run a couple hundred miles, and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in my life. (My workouts at the gym are basically picking up from where I left off a couple months ago, much to my surprise — I think the ongoing pushups program and stretching regimen helped me to maintain some muscle.)

But, as many of you have noted, at some point I allowed myself to stray from the get fit slowly philosophy. That’s okay, though. I’m not perfect. I’m learning. And as long as I keep a good attitude and continue moving toward my goals, I’m happy.

On Friday, Mac explained why he is fat. For him, it’s because it’s easier to be fat than it is to be a healthy weight. For me, it’s because of two things: I lack innate self-discipline and I have a fear of success.

Earlier this year, I managed to override my normal self-defeating behaviors by focusing on a couple of goals. Goals work for me. They point me in a direction and keep me motivated. They’re not as good as external structure imposed by some sort of authority (think class schedules in high school), but they do the job.

Then things began to fall apart. As has probably been apparent from my posts at Get Fit Slowly, it’s been a rocky two months for me. First I was injured, then my mother was in the hospital for three weeks, and lately I’ve had an inability to work on what’s important. In fact, I’ve been actively choosing things that hurt my health rather than help it.

Last night, I finally confessed to my wife all of the little things I’ve been doing to self-sabotage my life. (And now I’m confessing them to you.) I haven’t been exercising. I’ve been eating too much (yes, including Sno-Balls). I’ve been drinking too much alcohol. I’ve been playing too many computer games.

Kris wasn’t happy (which is understandable), but she agreed to help me get back on track. While she watched, I trashed World of Warcraft from my hard drive. I pulled out Body for Life and made a schedule for the morning. I woke at 6:30 to, got dressed, and went to the gym.

I tried to recreate those successful workouts from March and April. I turned on my iPod and cranked up the high-intensity dance music. I lifted light weights slowly. I focused on form. I worked efficiently, and when I was done I felt great.

On the way home, I made a decision. Rather than scatter my attention right now, trying to pursue several goals at once, I’m going to concentrate on just one. I’m going to do the Body for Life plan from start-to-finish, 12 full weeks, without trying anything else. While I was doing this earlier in the year, I lost ten pounds and felt good about myself. I want to capture that again.

A detail from today’s exercise log. Click for full log.

Today after work I went for a run. To save time I left straight from work rather than driving someplace else to run. I decided to head along Pringle Creek to Willamette University  and then run through the campus one time before the students returned to campus. Too late, the students were already back. I stuck to the plan because I haven’t explored the campus much even though it is right next to work. I followed the creek into the heart of campus, where it is artfully incorporated into the landscape. I tried to continue along the river but hit a dead end. Here, I made an about face and ran back the other way. I doubt even the new freshmen made that mistake. As I ran I passed two lion statues guarding the entrance to the theater, the SAE house, and then came across the Martha Springer Botanical Garden.

Continuing, I ran across the artificial turf of the fields, where guys were practicing soccer and then across the pedestrian bridge over busy 12th street. On the other side of the bridge was a  building with fairly modern architecture, with the Japanese flag flying out front. “What the heck is this?,”  I wondered, just as the sign came into view: Japan International University of America. I had no idea there was such a place, let alone in downtown Salem. The path continued on past the Willamette Bearcat softball field and then it ended abruptly in the parking lot. I wouldn’t have minded continuing my run on the street, but the gates were shut and I wasn’t in a fence jumping mood. So , it was another U-turn, back across the bridge and past the tennis courts.

A side walk garden contained very overcrowded and puny irises, which made me think of JD’s wife Kris, who is especially diligent about dividing her irises, and just like that, I was back to my starting point. A 17 minute tour of Willamette University.

To lengthen the run I continued on the Pringle Creek path in the opposite direction, off to High street, passing what I consider to be the most impressive and splendid house in Salem. The local running group often avoids high street because of the hill, but I think the old houses make  it worth the effort. I finished with a loop on the bark path around Bush park including a little path by the stream – a bit of urban trail.

It would have been a very pleasant run indeed, except for one thing: I felt like crap! My legs were like lead and my breathing seemed more labored than usual, particularly given my slow pace for the day. Just a week ago I was elated by my fitness, telling Mac how great I felt, but today I didn’t feel fit at all.    I didn’t feel all that great on Monday either. I just haven’t seemed to have it together this week.

I am reminded that Fitness is a series of peaks and valleys. You can try to  be on your “A-game” all the time, but some days you just don’t have it. Even elite athletes have their ups and downs.  People strive for peak performances, but this may lead to a down slide which defines the peak.    The valleys aren’t exciting like the peaks, but they are part of the journey. We can only strive to make the next peak a little higher and work to keep the current valley from being as low as the last.

When we pulled in the driveway though, my stress level went through the roof. My sister-in-law’s car had been crashed into by the painters (the front passenger door won’t even open), the carpet was still not down in the house, and the paint fumes were horrendous. All of this work was supposed to be finished, but there was no way we were staying in the house that night.

So, after a 4 hour drive, we wrestled (literally) the kids back into the car and drove to the nearest hotel, hoping for a vacancy. The only two rooms remaining were smoking rooms and boy did they stink. But we took them anyway and spent the next two nights in the hotel while they worked on the house over the weekend.

Sunday afternoon, we came home again, and things were much better. I’m spending this week catching up on laundry and moving back into the house. My weight’s up a bit (191), and there’s a lot of stress hanging over my head because I’m ready for the construction projects to be over. But I’m not depressed, or worried about my fitness and diet. I’m back to eating well, and this morning, I woke before the kids and did a 3-mile -run. I would love to find more time to write quality stuff for you guys. Hopefully when my house is finished, I’ll get back on track. So stick with me please.

As part of getting “back on the bus”, I’m remedying that situation today. I performed a one-time exhaustion test as a sort of reset switch. I was able to do 33 pushups, which is more than I’ve been able to do at one time before. So, even though I took a break, I haven’t lost too much stamina.

Starting Monday, I’ll be back on the project, but with week three column three. This may be too ambitious. If it is, I’ll drop to column two on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, I’m continuing to try to make smart food choices. Kris is helping me. (She nixed the trip to Dairy Queen last night after we made another trip to clean up my mother’s house, for instance.) This morning I had one chicken sausage, an egg, some toast and jam, and a cup of tea. Very nice.

Right now, I’m going to walk one mile to the bicycle store. They tell me my bike is ready to pick up. As I walk, I’ll eat an orange. Then, if all goes well, I’ll do a quick twenty mile ride to be sure the bike is working properly.

As I said on Thursday: it feels good to be making the right choices again. When I make the wrong choices, I beat myself up over them. But when I do the right thing, I feel good both physically and mentally.

The last month has been difficult for me, both mentally and physically. My mother has been in the hospital, I’ve been injured, and I’ve done a poor job of prioritizing fitness. If you think I’ve been whiney here, you should try living in my head!

“You need to go to the gym,” Kris told me Tuesday night after losing patience with my mopiness. “It’ll make you feel better.”

I knew she was right. (She’s always right!) Mental health professionals extol the virtues of exercise as a deterrent for depression. I’ve experienced this in my own life. Yet somehow when I need it most, it’s most difficult for me to do.

So yesterday morning I said “enough is enough” and hauled my ass to the gym for the first time this month. I spent half an hour stretching and then about twenty minutes lifting for the lower body. I also did my first set of pushups in a week. (Yes, I had even dropped my pushup routine. I’ll pick it back up now, though.)

Though this was a modest workout, it felt great. It was also good to have people say, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. It’s good to have you back.” I’m not the most social guy at the gym, so it kind of surprised me that people had noticed my absence.

In the afternoon, I went to physical therapy. Dana put me through a couple of terrible routines (”the frog” sucks big time). Then she examined the IT band. “It’s still tight,” she said. “But it’s getting better. In fact, the right IT band feels tighter than the left today.”

When we were finished, she said, “You can run a little this week. You can run every other day, and no more than five miles at a time. If you have intense pain, though, you need to stop right away.”

Throughout the day, I ate well. I had a sensible breakfast (yogurt and fruit), a sensible lunch (chicken sausage), and a sensible dinner (fish and snow peas). I did snack a little, but I did so consciously. I didn’t just gorge myself on Hostess Sno-Balls!

Things feel like they’re finally moving again. I did more stretching this morning. In a few minutes, I’m going to go for a mile walk, try to run for three miles, and then finish with another mile walk. Afterward, I’ll have something healthy to eat for lunch.

Why is it that I tend to forget the connection between physical activity and mental health? When I’m blue, exercise seems like a chore. But exercise isn’t a chore — it’s a treat.

It’s time to give away the big clothes so that I have nothing to fall back on. I understand that. I will never let myself buy a pair of pants bigger than 34 again. But that’s not the real problem here. I still plan on losing 10 to 15 more pounds between now and 2009. So, when Fall rolls around and the gloom returns to Oregon, I’m going to have to find some type of solution.

I’ve already done a little home improvement project on my belts. I put a few new holes in them with my trusty drill so I can cinch them up a bit tighter. But now they flop around at the end because they don’t reach the next belt loop on my pants.

I don’t really want to buy two new wardrobes, so unless you all have suggestions, I guess I’ll just make do with the clothes I’ve got now and have something to look forward to and some incentive to get there faster. For now, I’ll stay in wardrobe limbo and think of some other creative alteration techniques. Perhaps I’ll wear two pairs of underwear?

Lately I’ve become enamored with the idea of passive exercise. I’ve long praised the wonders of walking to the store — a classic example of what I mean by “passive exercise” — but now I’m discovering other sources of activity that mirror the exercises that I choose to do for fitness. I don’t do these activites specifically for the exercise, but the exercise is an added bonus.

Picking berries, for example, can give me an amazing stretch. We have a couple of low-bush blueberries. My hamstrings get no better stretch than when I’m harvesting this fruit. The other day, Kris and I picked beans at a nearby farm. I stretched a lot of muscles trying to stay comfortable.

Also, over the past week we’ve been working to clean my mother’s house. I’ve noticed that carrying heavy loads from one room to the other gives me a great workout, very much like lifting weights.

Or when I climb our stairs every day, if I take two steps at once, and move s-l-o-w-l-y, I can get a good stretch in my quads.

Now obviously these passive exercises don’t isolate muscles the same way a proper weight-lifting session would, but I do feel that looking for ways to get just a little more exercise each day help with my overall fitness goals.

I’d actually love to find more ways to squeeze bits and pieces of “passive exercise” into my everyday life. Do any of you do stuff like this?

All week, the family had been talking about running the Bush Pasture Park Cross Country Series. We were all excited: Megan (3 1/2) for her 500 meter run, Pam for her 3K, and me for my 5K. The plan was to meet another family with two small children for dinner and family exercise. The moms would run the 3K, the girls would run the 500, and the dads would run the 5K. Like I said, we were really excited. However, as the day approached, I lost most of my excitement, the forecast had steadily climbed all week into the upper 90’s. Remember that I’m mostly a treadmill, fan in my face kind of runner. I’m starting to enjoy running more outside, even though it’s a lot more difficult for me. But I don’t like the heat…AT ALL.

As the day approached, my anxiety rose. All of those pre-race jitters came back. To top it off, I haven’t been training for a race, just running for maintenance purposes. And, this time I had competition. The dad I was running with has recently started a training program for the Honolulu Marathon. Supposedly, he’s a slow runner. But to me a slow long distance runner turns into a much faster short distance runner. At the beginning of the race, he looked me in the eye and said that his goal was first to finish, and second to run a 10-minute mile pace for the race. I thought, “hmmm…I should be able to beat 32 minutes easily.” I glanced back at him dubiously.

My suspicions were quickly confirmed. I ran my first mile in 8:08. He was right behind me. I ran my second mile in 9:30. It was hot and I was tiring. Again, he was right behind me. I ran my last 1.2 miles in 9:14. YET AGAIN, HE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME. After cherry picking the whole race he decided to pass me with about 150 meters to go. I was mad. Really mad. I didn’t want this race to end like the last one where I got passed in the last bit and wasn’t able to regain that position. So I picked it up and ran as fast as I could and passed him back with about 3 meters to go…if that.

I finished in 26:52, which was almost exactly half of my 10K race back in May. There’s no way that I could have kept that pace up for another 5K. I’ll blame it on the heat.

Overall, it was fun, yet hot night. I’ve now run 2 organized races this year, which is 2 more than I’ve run in the previous 33 years. I didn’t enjoy myself as much this time. I’ll take a non-heat-wave race over this one any time.  The best part about the whole night was spending time together with my family in an active way.  I strive to have my kids see me exercising, whether it’s on the treadmill, or at an organized event doesn’t matter.  As long as they know it’s important to be active.

And to the Dad running with me…Next time I’ll follow you.

“The real question is, can I run yet or not?” I asked. It’s been two weeks since my last run.

“No,” she said. “Your leg is too weak. I want that IT band to heal, and I want you to strengthen your quads. The harder you work at that, the sooner you’ll be able to run.”

Point taken. Dana (my physical therapist) knows that I haven’t been able to stretch as much as I’d like. I’m not shy about admitting it. “Until your leg gets stronger,” she told me, “you can walk, bike, or swim. But no running.”

And so I’ve been re-learning the joys of the long walk. Over the past week, I’ve walked four times.

Actually, I’m having trouble finding a route that’s long enough. I keep picking courses that I think will give me a lot of distance, but they end up shorter than I anticipate. Today, for example, I thought I’d go five or six miles. I ended up going 3.66 miles in exactly an hour. (My walking pace has always been about 3.6 miles per hour — what’s yours?)

Walks are nice because they give a fellow time to look at his surroundings, to listen to the birds, to watch the other folks out exercising. I also re-discovered my love for audiobooks. When I commuted half an hour each way to work, I listened to a lot of books on tape. I also listened to them on afternoon walks. I haven’t listened to a book in six months, though, until I began walking again recently.

So for the time being, my plan is to:

• Focus on eating healthy food in sensible amounts.
• Perform a stretching regimen at least twice a day, focusing on my hamstrings, quads, and glutes.
• Incorporate walking into my daily routine.
• Bike regularly once my beloved Bianchi Volpe is back from the shop.

These things should not only help arrest the weight that’s creeping back around my belly, but also help me resume my path to fitness and weight loss.

I’ve powered through, though, on adrenaline and because there’s no other option. My mother is in the hospital and must be cared for. I’ve elected to become a “professional” blogger, and I must write to eat. My in-laws, who were in town last week, must be entertained. And through it all, the normal daily routine must continue.

Something had to give. That something has been exercise. I’ve been to the gym three times in the past three weeks. I’ve done two short sessions of aerobic activity (and one longer session, which I’ll describe later). For a while, I was barely doing any stretching.

For the first few days of this crisis, my diet went well. In a way, it went too well. During the three or four days of most intense stress, I had no appetite. I ate very little. But as soon as the pressure eased, my response was to turn to food. I bought a box of Lucky Charms and ate them over two days. I consoled myself with cookies.

I put a stop to this after only a few days, but then I faced other challenges. While Kris’ parents were in town, we ate out for nearly every meal. I’m getting better at making healthy choices in a restaurant, but after almost a week of that sort of lifestyle, I can really feel the change in my body. I feel bloated and gross.

So, it’s been a rocky couple of weeks, but I don’t feel too bad. I still have the mindset of a guy who wants to get fit, who wants to lose weight. I’ve been sidetracked for a while, but things are settling now. Yesterday morning I made a healthy breakfast. I ate well for lunch, too. (I had leftover restaurant food for dinner.) And I’ve resumed exercising.

Things will be okay.

Biking
Last Saturday morning, I finally had a respite from life. “I should go for a ride,” I said. “But all I really want to do is sleep.”

“Go for a ride,” Kris said, “You’ll feel better.”

It took me a long time to get out the door, but I did it. As I pushed down to pedal away from the house, I heard something fall to the ground. When I went back to look, nothing was there.

I biked north to the Springwater Trail, then into downtown Portland. Bike and foot traffic was thick. Portland’s annual food festival was being held along the waterfront, and I had to weave my way in and out of clusters of folks enjoying the mild summer morning.

At the mid-way point of the ride (about mile ten), I crossed the Steel Bridge to head home. As I did, I passed a group of runners coming from the other direction. My heart ached. It was the 4:20 runners from my marathon training group. My group, the 4:30 group, was somewhere behind them. They were doing the run I’d so looked forward to: the first twenty-mile group run and actually on the marathon course. “Next year,” I told myself. “Next year.”

I hoped to see my friends from 4:30, but our paths didn’t overlap. Instead, I headed home. Crossing the railway tracks in Sellwood, something felt strange on my bike. I looked back to see my rear wheel was twisted and rubbing on the brakes. “Yikes,” I thought. I pedaled three miles to he nearest bike store.

Apparently the sound of something falling to the ground at the start of the trip was actually a spoke popping loose. “We can fix that,” the mechanic told me. I also asked that he fix the left shifter, which works on a sort of “when I feel like it basis”. “That’ll take some time,” he said. He has to order parts, which means it may be a couple weeks before I can use my bike again.

Stretching
Since last Wednesday’s physical therapy appointment, I’ve tried to be better about stretching. “How did things go this week?” my physical therapist asked at the beginning of our session. I told her about Mom and about my hectic schedule and confessed I’d done little stretching. She admonished me to try harder, and I have.

Push-ups
Through this all, I’ve been dogged about completing my steps on the one hundred push-ups program. I completed week three, column two last week, and am working on week four, column two this week. Every day I think, “There’s no way I can do this.” But every day I surprise myself.

Final thoughts
I’ve gained three pounds in the past three weeks. Before all of this started, I weighed 187 and was getting readings of 24% body fat from my scale’s impedance sensor. Now I’m at 190 (with higher readings some days!) and the scale tells me I’m at 28% body fat.

So, here I am, eager to get outside and exercise, but unable to run (by orders of the physical therapist) and unable to bike. What’s a fellow to do? Turns out I can still walk! I took an hour walk yesterday, and I’m contemplating a two-hour walk this morning. An if that isn’t good enough, I can always go to the gym and park myself on a stationary bike for a couple hours. (Actually, the 2.75-mile walk to and from the gym would be perfect.)

Finally, a couple of notes:

• I cancelled my Cycle Oregon registration yesterday. I’m not prepared and my bike is out of commission. Maybe next year.
• I’ve resigned myself that I won’t run the marathon this year, but I still might walk it.
• Meanwhile, as soon as my IT band allows, I’ll begin building a slow, constant core running workout into my life: a couple of short runs during the week, and then maybe 8-12 miles on the weekend.

The past month has been crazy for me. I’m ready for some peace, quiet, and especially some routine.

On the fifth day, though, I pulled myself out of the pit I’d made for myself and got on with life. I went to the gym. While I was there, the owner and one of the employees gave me tips. They described some exercises I might want to try.

On the following day — last Thursday — I had an appointment with a physical therapist.

Physical therapy, day one
“What’s the problem?” Dana asked me after she’d taken my basic information.

“My IT band,” I said. “Except it doesn’t hurt right now.” And it didn’t. In fact, it hadn’t really hurt since my abysmal experience on Saturday afternoon. I spent five minutes giving Dana my entire exercise history. (It was probably way too much information, but she didn’t complain.)

After we’d talked, Dana had me show her the different stretches I’ve been doing. Next, I laid on examination table while she manipulated my legs and massaged various muscles. When she’d finished, she went over the results.

“Your flexibility isn’t great,” she said, “but I’ve seen worse. If it really was as bad as you say, you’ve made progress. Also, the IT band in your left leg does seem to be a problem, but I think what’s really the matter is your left quad. You have some tenderness and weakness right here.” She pushed on a tender, weak spot.

“You say this is the spot where you hurt yourself during a 10k run. Well, I think the muscle hasn’t fully healed, and that’s causing all of the other problems. It’s causing the IT band syndrome, and everything else.”

New exercises
To test this hypothesis, she led me to the weight room. She had me perform a couple of exercises, first with the right leg and then with the left.

“Do you see how your right leg is stronger than your left leg?” she said. I did, in fact, see this. It was obvious.

“This is probably the source of your problems,” she said. “Your body is out of balance. Your left quad hasn’t fully recovered. It’s still a little sore, a little weak, and that’s throwing everything else off balance. When we run, there are many different systems that have to work in concert with each other. If one of them is off, it throws everything else off. A sore quad can ruin your bio-mechanics.”

We sat down, and Dana gave me a list of exercises to try. “Keep stretching,” she said. “Be good about it. Don’t cheat. And add these four exercises to the mix.”

“I will,” I said. “But what about the marathon. It’s just over two months away. Do you think that’s a realistic goal?”

“Well, I don’t know,” she said. “I do think you can probably do it, but you need to be careful. You shouldn’t be jumping back to sixteen miles this weekend, that’s for sure. Run six or eight. Maybe do some cross-training.”

She thought about it a little more. “You may be running in the wrong pace group,” she said. “You’re not having trouble with the cardio-respiratory aspect, right?” I shook my head. “It’s very possible that you’re running too slow. People have natural running paces, just like they have natural walking paces.”

“Really?” I said. “I didn’t know that, but it makes sense. When I’m on my own, I have a fast pace that I fall into [about 9:10] and a normal pace [about 10:30]. I can’t make myself run as slow as we do in training.”

“Right,” said Dana. “And I think that when you do, you might actually be forcing your body to do things that seem unnatural. You may want to consider moving up to a faster training group. Or maybe you should just run on your own.”

Theory into practice
For the past week, I’ve been following my new lower-body stretching/strength routine. It’s actually kind of challenging. Dana has me holding each stretch for two full minutes. After the first 90 seconds, I can really feel the burn. Meanwhile, I’ve started running again, but by myself. It’s not as fun, but I feel like I have greater control.

Also, the “monster walk” — walking sideways with an elastic band hobbling the legs — is very tough. The guys at the gym think I look funny, but I tell them they should try it.

I haven’t actually been able to get as much stretching is as I’d like. A family crisis is demanding a lot of my time (twelve hours on Tuesday). But I’m doing what I can when I can.

Yesterday, I went for a my first run in many days. After a week off, my legs felt great. Nothing was sore. And for the first part of the run, everything was working perfectly. After half a mile, I was positively ebullient. After .58 miles, I was sighing in resignation. The pain in my knee had returned. I finished a mile, and then walked home.

Physical therapy, day two
Yesterday afternoon, I met with Dana again. “How are things going?” she asked.

“Both good and bad,” I said. I explained that I hadn’t stretched as much as I’d liked, but that I did feel like the routine was good. I also told her about my run.

Dana had me lay on a table as she used her thumbs to “massage” the IT band around my knee. (I put that in quotes because it wasn’t really a massage. It was more like some sort of diabolical torture.) “Yeah, you’re tight there,” she said. She showed me how to do the “massage” myself, and asked me to do it while I watched TV (which isn’t often).

“And I don’t want you to run,” she said. I gave her a look. “No running for a couple of weeks. You can bike, if you want, or walk. Or better yet, swim. But no running. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said. “I guess that kind of puts running the marathon on hold. But maybe I can walk it.”

“Maybe,” she said. And then we made an appointment for next week…

It turned out my fears were unfounded. I’ve been going to the gym regularly. (Sometimes just once a week, but other times six days. I use it probably 10-15 times a month.) Meanwhile, most of the gym’s clientele is over the age of 50. And those of us who are younger are more interested in our own fitness goals.

There’s one guy who looks like a preening lunkhead, but turns out he’s a nice guy. In fact, Elvis is the glue that holds the weight room together from 9-10:30 most mornings. He’s funny, smart, and dedicated to improving his body. (I’ve written about Elvis at my my personal finance blog.)

None of the regulars are in to showing off. We’re not competing with each other. Some of the guys lift big weights, but they don’t make a big deal about it. Many of us — including Elvis, who is just about the strongest guy there — focus on lighter weights. And, as I say, we all pursue our own goals. We chat and kid each other and give each other advice. It’s a good group.

Interlopers
Today (Friday) I went to the gym to resume my modified lower-body exercise routine. I had my first visit with a physical therapist yesterday afternoon, and she’s asked me to work more on stretching and on strengthening my legs. (More about this on Thursday.) I spent an hour on the aerobics floor, doing my pushups, doing my stretches, and doing the new exercises from the physical therapist.

When I’d finished, I walked down to the weight room.

As I descended the stairs, I was startled to hear loud grunting coming from the weight room. All of us grunt when we push ourselves, but none of the regulars grunt like this. It was a showy “look at me” sort of thing, not a grunt of exertion.

There, at the bottom of the stairs, a big bald-headed guy was doing triceps extensions with a huge weight. Another big bald-headed guy was spotting him. (This, also, is unusual. It’s very rare that any of the regulars does anything that requires spotting. We stay within our limits.) The spotter was encouraging the lifter, “Yeah. That’s right. You can do it. One more.”

All of this seems fairly standard for most gyms, I think, but it’s strange at the gym I go to. But the real problem was this pair was loud. They were shouting. No conversation in the gym was possible. It was bizarre.

When the lifter finished, he shouted, “How much was that?”

“Seventy pounds,” shouted the spotter.

“Only seventy pounds?” shouted the lifter. “You gotta be kidding me. Bring me one hundred.” And so the spotter did. The grunting and shouted encouragement resumed.

I sat down on a bench and prepared to do one of my exercises. Elvis was sitting on the bench next to me. He was staring at the loud lifter and spotter, glaring. He tossed his head at them, his way of telling me he couldn’t believe the pair. I shook my head in agreement.

“That’s more like it,” the lifter said when he’d finished. “That’s the sort of weight I’m used to.” He stood up and preened around the gym. He walked over to Elvis and continued what must have been an earlier conversation.

“If you want any of those multi-vitamins, you know where to find me,” the big bald guy said.

“I don’t want your multi-vitamins,” Elvis said. “I have my own program that I’m happy with.” The big bald guy handed his card to Elvis and then the interlopers left.

The weight room was silent for a few minutes.

Like a family
Finally, Elvis broke the silence. “Can you believe those guys?” he said. Apparently they’d been in the weight room for a while, grunting and shouting and pushing multi-vitamins. Elvis showed me the business card: Mr. Muscle.

“Yeah,” I said. “They don’t really fit in with the culture we have down here, do they?”

“Not at all,” said another guy. We talked about how each of us has our own goals, and none of ever tries to show off to the others. Elvis pointed out that the guys weren’t even fit. They could lift a lot of weight, sure, he said, but they had a lot of body fat. It was as if they were specialized for one particular exercise.

It’s been a while since I thought about my gym’s culture and how much I like it. I’ve just become accustomed to it, I guess. I take it for granted. But today’s episode was a good reminder of why it’s nice to see the same familiar faces every day, and why I don’t mind being surrounded by older people when I’m exercising. They’re not trying to prove anything to anyone other than themselves.

After Saturday morning’s aborted attempt at a sixteen mile run, I was feeling miserable. It wasn’t just that my physical condition was poor — my mental condition had fallen off a cliff.

“We’re going out to eat,” I told Kris on Saturday afternoon. “We’re going to Buster’s barbeque and I’m going to eat whatever I want.”

But we didn’t go to Buster’s. I had a little more sense than that. I did pick up Safeway Chinese food, though, and a package of pre-formed chocolate chip cookies. Kris frowned. “You’re not going to be happy,” she told me.

“I don’t care,” I said.

At home, I ate half the Chinese food and threw the rest away. I made the chocolate chip cookies, but they sucked. I still ate too many (ten? twelve?) but most of those ended up in the trash, too. A waste of time, money, and food. And I still wasn’t in a good mental space.

On Sunday, I had okay food, but too much of it. On Monday and Tuesday, I ate whatever I wanted. Again, portion size was okay, but food choices were poor: donuts, soda, etc.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t exercising. From the end of my marathon training run until Tuesday night, I didn’t stretch, I didn’t bike, I didn’t walk. All I did was Monday morning’s pushup routine.

To top it all off, I didn’t write. I played computer games. I watched videos. I read comic books.

For four days, I turned into a wallowing mass of self-pity.

The whole time I was doing this, I knew that it was a mistake. I was even trying to put brakes on myself, limiting portions, not giving in to the worst of my impulses. But I was still eating compulsively. I was still avoiding exercise. I was still shirking my responsibilities. And all because I felt like my body had betrayed me.

None of these choices were conscious. They were just reflexes. I was doing what I felt like. I was the old J.D.

Fortunately, I woke up Wednesday with a better attitude. I ate a sensible breakfast (oatmeal and berries and a hunk of cheese). I did my pushups and then spent an hour doing my upper body workout at the gym. I got confirmation of my physical therapy appointment (which I’ll go to in a few hours). And then I began to tackle the enormous backlog of work for my web sites. (When I ignore them for a few days, things get out of control!)

In the past, I might not have been able to correct my course once I’d lost my way. This time, I did. But how do I keep from losing my way in the first place? How do I prevent setbacks from moving beyond physical and into the mental realm?

I don’t know.

I’m learning, of course, though slowly. My body actually craves exercise right now. It’s been five days since I did anything aerobic. As soon as I finish typing this, I’m going to get up from my chair, stretch, and then go for a run. I want to be able to tell the physical therapist exactly what my body feels like right now…

For the second Saturday in a row, I had to cut my marathon training run short. The pain in my knee was too intense to continue. Today’s three-mile walk back to the car was excruciating. I had a lot of time to think about my progress, my current physical state, and my goals.

When I started Get Fit Slowly, I did a poor job of motivating myself. I groused a lot about my condition, but I did nothing about it. After a reader scolded me for my inaction (and rightly so), I set some goals for myself. These goals weren’t important in and of themselves, but for what they meant for me: they were a reason for me to get out and exercise.

I’ve been fairly successful at working toward my goals. Things haven’t been perfect, but I’ve been slowly achieving a level of fitness that would allow me to run a marathon or to do a week-long bicycle tour of Oregon.

Now, however, my age and lack of base fitness are beginning to take a toll.

I am 39 years old. I’m not old, but I’m certainly no longer young. My body is not as resilient as it once was. Moreover, I’m starting from a base of almost no fitness: years spent sitting in front of a computer and rarely taking more than 2,000 steps a day.

While my exertions were lighter, my body could handle it. Now, however, it seems to be saying, “Whoa, cowboy — let’s build some muscle first, shall we?” I’ve experienced shin splints, IT band syndrome, and now a pulled groin. (Last night we played kickball with some friends. On the very first play of the game, I lunged toward third base. As I did, I pulled my groin. I wasn’t happy.)

If I’m suffering physically, it’s nothing compared to my mental gyrations. “I quit!” I told myself as I was walking back to my car today. “I’m done.” But that’s bullshit. I don’t quit. I’m not done. I may, however, need to reevaluate my priorities.

I’ve spent the past two hours trying to decide what it is I want to do and why. Here are the things I’ve come up with:

• I want to run a marathon. I recognize this is not a sign of fitness. It is, however, something I’ve always wanted to do, and something that will require me to be in peak physical shape. But do I need to run the 2008 Portland Marathon? What if I changed my goal to the 2009 Portland Marathon? What if I gave myself an extra nine months to allow my body adapt to running and, especially, to lose weight.
• I want to reach a healthy weight. Most of my physical problems can be directly traced to my weight. Though I’ve lost nearly twenty pounds since I began on January 1st, I’m still at least twenty pounds too heavy. This extra mass causes extra strain on my body. Every time I run, every time I do pushups, every time I do anything, my bones and sinews have to work harder.
• I want to continue my weight training. Through this entire process, my weight training has been the one thing I’ve done constantly well. I go to the gym a couple times each week and do the Body for Life program, carefully noting my perceived effort, and gradually increasing the difficulty of the exercises. My body has changed noticeably as a result. Earlier this year, I stopped my lower-body weight training. I felt like it was interfering with my running. I want to resume the lower-body lifting.
• I want to become more flexible. Years of sedentary living have made me rigid as a board. I’ve spent the past month stretching for ten minutes three times a day. That’s good, but I’d like to do more. Maybe it’s time to find a regular yoga class. I don’t know. Whatever the case, I think that developing flexibility is going to be key to allowing me to run regularly in the future. As Pam has said, some people need to stretch, some don’t. But those that need it, really need it. I’m one of those who need it.

So what does this all means in terms of the actions I’ll take? I don’t know. On Monday, I think I’m going to try to set an appointment with a physical therapist. This is the last step I’ll take before deciding whether or not to attempt this year’s marathon. If that goes poorly, or if the therapist recommends against it, then I’ll shift my focus to 2009. I have no idea what I’ll do about Cycle Oregon at this point.

Meanwhile, I’m going to make another pass through the Body for Life 12-week program. While I followed it last spring, I was focused and happy about my progress. I liked the variety. And it’ll let me get some running in, even if it’s just quick bursts.

Who knows what the future holds?

And really, that’s what a lot of this is about — not just for me, but for everyone. We don’t like the way we look, and that drives us to change. It’s very true in my case, although I would never have admitted it when I was at 207 pounds.

Now, not even halfway through my journey, I marvel at the muscles in my arms and legs. I’m positively vain. At mediocrity! But I think that’s a good thing as long as I continue to improve and as long as I don’t begin judging others.

Losing weight? That’s great. Developing healthy habits? That’s nice, too. Being able to run a marathon? Nice achievement. But what really matters to me? Finally being happy with the way I look.