The pain was bad all week. Sharp pain in the lower right back right above my butt.  Sometimes,  the pain travels down into my butt and across the front of my hip.  It hurts to bend over at the waist, it hurts to get up off the floor, it hurts to lay on my back on a hard surface, and it hurts to rotate my hips when I’m laying on my back.  But the pain isn’t terrible, it’s just there.  I can function fine, but I can’t exercise as hard as I’m motivated to do at this point.  I want it fixed so i can get back into the groove at the gym.

I knew going into it what the outcome of my appointment was going to be.  I knew there was no way that I was leaving the office with a diagnosis.  He was either going to say rest your back and don’t do ANY lifting or strenuous activity for another 2-4 weeks and your pain will go away.   OR he was going to say that we can’t tell if you slipped a disk without an MRI and I don’t think you need one since you can basically function fine.

Well, if you change the word “OR” in the previous paragraph to the word “AND” you’ll have exactly what he said.  So, no MRI for me, no diagnosis for me, just rest and it will go away.  That sucks huh?

On Monday, as I talked about correcting my course, Greenman had an interesting comment:

When a plan goes wrong in the Army, the brass debriefs the participants, calls in some outside experts (that’s me), and produces a “Lessons Learned” report, which informs the next plan. What does your “Lessons Learned” report say, JD?

I’ve thought a lot about this over the past couple days. (And, to an extent, over the past couple months.) Here are five things I’ve learned from my adventures in fitness this year:

Set realistic goals
It’s okay to have big goals, but it’s important to also maintain realistic expectations.

When I decided to get out of debt, I told myself I wanted to pay off $35,000 in five years. That was a big goal, but I believed I could do it. Turns out I beat my goal by almost two years. But if I’d decided I wanted to pay all my debt off in just twelve months, I would have been setting myself up for failure. I wouldn’t have come close to achieving my goal.

Similarly, it’s fine for me to want to run a marathon, and to lose 50 pounds, and to bike across Oregon, but it’s unrealistic to believe I can go from couch potato to doing all of these things in just nine months.

Establish priorities
It’s important to prioritize. By knowing which goals mean the most, and which goals lead naturally to other goals, you can decide what to accomplish first. In my case, I was trying to do too much at once. My attention was scattered. And, as many readers have noted, I was putting the proverbial cart before the proverbial horse.

Now I realize there’s a natural progression to what I want to accomplish.

First, I need to develop good eating habits and build a base of fitness from which I can pursue my other goals. For the next twelve weeks, I intend to follow the Body for Life program to completion. (I cut it short last spring when my attention shifted to other goals.) This should help me learn the behaviors I need to continue improving my health and fitness. It should, in theory, also help me lose weight, another goal along the way.

Having achieved a basic level of strength and fitness, I can spend a few months preparing to run, and then once again tackle marathon training next April, but much better prepared than I was in 2008.

Remember the basics
In his comment on Monday, Greenman suggested I have a sort of emergency backup plan for when things go wrong. “There were no tools in your toolbox for dealing with major interruptions,” he wrote. “There still aren’t. Your plan strikes me as being somewhat inflexible.” He has an excellent point (and one he’s been trying to make for months). The only plan I have now is to keep the fundamentals in mind at all times.

During times of stress, it’s especially important to be mindful of the basics. As with any skill, once you begin exercising (or eating right), it can become second nature. That’s both good and bad. It makes things easier under normal conditions, but it also means we become less mindful about our behavior. We’re doing it out of habit rather than choice. Stress can derail us, and suddenly we find ourselves following our old habits rather than the new.

If you sense yourself losing control, don’t panic — simply force yourself to be more conscious about your choices. If, like me, you have particular books or articles you find inspiring, go back and re-read them. Remind yourself of the core tenets of your program.

Plan to succeed
When I began exercising in March, I planned my exercise sessions. Every night, I would sit down at the kitchen table and review my last couple workouts. Based on my notes, I would then construct a plan for the next morning. This was great. It gave me that outside structure that I crave. (I know this was actually internal structure, but it felt like external structure because it came from Past J.D. and not Present J.D. Yes, I know I’m strange.)

Similarly, my marathon training worked well because I had a plan and I followed it. It was only once I began to deviate from the plan that things got hairy, leading me to injury.

This week, as I’ve returned to the gym (and yes, I’ve gone all four mornings so far), I’ve made a point of planning my workouts the night before. There’s something about these sessions that put me in the proper frame of mind. In fact, I like them so much that I’m going to try something similar with food.

What if on Thursday I was to prepare my meals for Friday? If I have trouble making the right choices in the moment, maybe I can make them in advance. Maybe I can plan to succeed rather than leaving it to chance. (And the whims of my belly.)

Share your progress, but share judiciously
There’s no question that sharing your progress with your friends, family, and folks on the internet can help keep you motivated. But it can also have a negative effect. Share your goals and your overall progress, but unless you need specific advice, keep the details to yourself.

I’m an open person. For the past ten years, my life has pretty much been an open book, available for anyone on the web to comment on and criticize. Constructive criticism can keep me motivated. It can help me spot problems I’m not even aware of. But too much criticism, or the wrong kind of criticism, can actually thwart my aims.

For the next 11-1/2 weeks, as I work through Body for Life, I’ll still share bits and pieces of how things are going, but I’m going to employ a stronger filter than usual. It’s important to me right now that I finish this on my own terms, doing the best I can as who I am right now. I don’t want to get distracted by comments that lead me to self-doubt.

Conclusion
So, there you have them: the five things I feel I’ve learned about fitness over the past six months. They may not be the five things you’d hoped I learned, but they’re the lessons I’ve learned nonetheless.

I want to make it clear that I’m not really disappointed with my progress. I’m down 15 pounds for the year, I’ve run a couple hundred miles, and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in my life. (My workouts at the gym are basically picking up from where I left off a couple months ago, much to my surprise — I think the ongoing pushups program and stretching regimen helped me to maintain some muscle.)

But, as many of you have noted, at some point I allowed myself to stray from the get fit slowly philosophy. That’s okay, though. I’m not perfect. I’m learning. And as long as I keep a good attitude and continue moving toward my goals, I’m happy.

I’ve powered through, though, on adrenaline and because there’s no other option. My mother is in the hospital and must be cared for. I’ve elected to become a “professional” blogger, and I must write to eat. My in-laws, who were in town last week, must be entertained. And through it all, the normal daily routine must continue.

Something had to give. That something has been exercise. I’ve been to the gym three times in the past three weeks. I’ve done two short sessions of aerobic activity (and one longer session, which I’ll describe later). For a while, I was barely doing any stretching.

For the first few days of this crisis, my diet went well. In a way, it went too well. During the three or four days of most intense stress, I had no appetite. I ate very little. But as soon as the pressure eased, my response was to turn to food. I bought a box of Lucky Charms and ate them over two days. I consoled myself with cookies.

I put a stop to this after only a few days, but then I faced other challenges. While Kris’ parents were in town, we ate out for nearly every meal. I’m getting better at making healthy choices in a restaurant, but after almost a week of that sort of lifestyle, I can really feel the change in my body. I feel bloated and gross.

So, it’s been a rocky couple of weeks, but I don’t feel too bad. I still have the mindset of a guy who wants to get fit, who wants to lose weight. I’ve been sidetracked for a while, but things are settling now. Yesterday morning I made a healthy breakfast. I ate well for lunch, too. (I had leftover restaurant food for dinner.) And I’ve resumed exercising.

Things will be okay.

Biking
Last Saturday morning, I finally had a respite from life. “I should go for a ride,” I said. “But all I really want to do is sleep.”

“Go for a ride,” Kris said, “You’ll feel better.”

It took me a long time to get out the door, but I did it. As I pushed down to pedal away from the house, I heard something fall to the ground. When I went back to look, nothing was there.

I biked north to the Springwater Trail, then into downtown Portland. Bike and foot traffic was thick. Portland’s annual food festival was being held along the waterfront, and I had to weave my way in and out of clusters of folks enjoying the mild summer morning.

At the mid-way point of the ride (about mile ten), I crossed the Steel Bridge to head home. As I did, I passed a group of runners coming from the other direction. My heart ached. It was the 4:20 runners from my marathon training group. My group, the 4:30 group, was somewhere behind them. They were doing the run I’d so looked forward to: the first twenty-mile group run and actually on the marathon course. “Next year,” I told myself. “Next year.”

I hoped to see my friends from 4:30, but our paths didn’t overlap. Instead, I headed home. Crossing the railway tracks in Sellwood, something felt strange on my bike. I looked back to see my rear wheel was twisted and rubbing on the brakes. “Yikes,” I thought. I pedaled three miles to he nearest bike store.

Apparently the sound of something falling to the ground at the start of the trip was actually a spoke popping loose. “We can fix that,” the mechanic told me. I also asked that he fix the left shifter, which works on a sort of “when I feel like it basis”. “That’ll take some time,” he said. He has to order parts, which means it may be a couple weeks before I can use my bike again.

Stretching
Since last Wednesday’s physical therapy appointment, I’ve tried to be better about stretching. “How did things go this week?” my physical therapist asked at the beginning of our session. I told her about Mom and about my hectic schedule and confessed I’d done little stretching. She admonished me to try harder, and I have.

Push-ups
Through this all, I’ve been dogged about completing my steps on the one hundred push-ups program. I completed week three, column two last week, and am working on week four, column two this week. Every day I think, “There’s no way I can do this.” But every day I surprise myself.

Final thoughts
I’ve gained three pounds in the past three weeks. Before all of this started, I weighed 187 and was getting readings of 24% body fat from my scale’s impedance sensor. Now I’m at 190 (with higher readings some days!) and the scale tells me I’m at 28% body fat.

So, here I am, eager to get outside and exercise, but unable to run (by orders of the physical therapist) and unable to bike. What’s a fellow to do? Turns out I can still walk! I took an hour walk yesterday, and I’m contemplating a two-hour walk this morning. An if that isn’t good enough, I can always go to the gym and park myself on a stationary bike for a couple hours. (Actually, the 2.75-mile walk to and from the gym would be perfect.)

Finally, a couple of notes:

• I cancelled my Cycle Oregon registration yesterday. I’m not prepared and my bike is out of commission. Maybe next year.
• I’ve resigned myself that I won’t run the marathon this year, but I still might walk it.
• Meanwhile, as soon as my IT band allows, I’ll begin building a slow, constant core running workout into my life: a couple of short runs during the week, and then maybe 8-12 miles on the weekend.

The past month has been crazy for me. I’m ready for some peace, quiet, and especially some routine.

So after 45 minutes on the bike, I headed down to the weight room for my 5X5 workout. I figured that I was already warmed up since I’d been on the bike for so long so I racked my weights for my first set of squats. I shouldered the bar, stepped back, spread my feet, aligned my toes, and in the words of the people at the 5X5 forums, I “put my ass to the grass.” Wow! Was I in for a rude awakening. My left quad balked the first time I went down. I didn’t think much of it on the first rep, but by the time I squatted for the fifth time, I knew I was in trouble. I didn’t finish my other four sets, but I did finish the rest of my workout.

So I spent the rest of the day hobbling around with a sore left quad. Thursday was worse, and I was beginning to think I did something more than strain it. But Friday I went for an 18 hole walk and it was feeling better. Still stiff, but not bad. Saturday and Sunday steadily improved and now I’m back in the game.

So I had a minor setback in terms of lifting weights. But it was a real eye opener for me. My legs, although they do look GOOD, aren’t quite ready to be increasing weights on the squat bar every time I work out. But I really like the 5X5 program. So I’m going to modify it a bit for a couple of weeks. Instead of increasing my weight each time, I’m just going to get in some reps of a lighter weight and concentrate on proper form and hip/hamstring flexibility. In the long run, I believe this will serve me better. After all, I’m not looking to get buff from the lifting, I’m really looking to build a better metabolic base for myself by adding muscle. I’ll head back to the squat bar on Wednesday so my quad can have a full week of rest before I put it back to the test.

After Saturday morning’s aborted attempt at a sixteen mile run, I was feeling miserable. It wasn’t just that my physical condition was poor — my mental condition had fallen off a cliff.

“We’re going out to eat,” I told Kris on Saturday afternoon. “We’re going to Buster’s barbeque and I’m going to eat whatever I want.”

But we didn’t go to Buster’s. I had a little more sense than that. I did pick up Safeway Chinese food, though, and a package of pre-formed chocolate chip cookies. Kris frowned. “You’re not going to be happy,” she told me.

“I don’t care,” I said.

At home, I ate half the Chinese food and threw the rest away. I made the chocolate chip cookies, but they sucked. I still ate too many (ten? twelve?) but most of those ended up in the trash, too. A waste of time, money, and food. And I still wasn’t in a good mental space.

On Sunday, I had okay food, but too much of it. On Monday and Tuesday, I ate whatever I wanted. Again, portion size was okay, but food choices were poor: donuts, soda, etc.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t exercising. From the end of my marathon training run until Tuesday night, I didn’t stretch, I didn’t bike, I didn’t walk. All I did was Monday morning’s pushup routine.

To top it all off, I didn’t write. I played computer games. I watched videos. I read comic books.

For four days, I turned into a wallowing mass of self-pity.

The whole time I was doing this, I knew that it was a mistake. I was even trying to put brakes on myself, limiting portions, not giving in to the worst of my impulses. But I was still eating compulsively. I was still avoiding exercise. I was still shirking my responsibilities. And all because I felt like my body had betrayed me.

None of these choices were conscious. They were just reflexes. I was doing what I felt like. I was the old J.D.

Fortunately, I woke up Wednesday with a better attitude. I ate a sensible breakfast (oatmeal and berries and a hunk of cheese). I did my pushups and then spent an hour doing my upper body workout at the gym. I got confirmation of my physical therapy appointment (which I’ll go to in a few hours). And then I began to tackle the enormous backlog of work for my web sites. (When I ignore them for a few days, things get out of control!)

In the past, I might not have been able to correct my course once I’d lost my way. This time, I did. But how do I keep from losing my way in the first place? How do I prevent setbacks from moving beyond physical and into the mental realm?

I don’t know.

I’m learning, of course, though slowly. My body actually craves exercise right now. It’s been five days since I did anything aerobic. As soon as I finish typing this, I’m going to get up from my chair, stretch, and then go for a run. I want to be able to tell the physical therapist exactly what my body feels like right now…

For the second Saturday in a row, I had to cut my marathon training run short. The pain in my knee was too intense to continue. Today’s three-mile walk back to the car was excruciating. I had a lot of time to think about my progress, my current physical state, and my goals.

When I started Get Fit Slowly, I did a poor job of motivating myself. I groused a lot about my condition, but I did nothing about it. After a reader scolded me for my inaction (and rightly so), I set some goals for myself. These goals weren’t important in and of themselves, but for what they meant for me: they were a reason for me to get out and exercise.

I’ve been fairly successful at working toward my goals. Things haven’t been perfect, but I’ve been slowly achieving a level of fitness that would allow me to run a marathon or to do a week-long bicycle tour of Oregon.

Now, however, my age and lack of base fitness are beginning to take a toll.

I am 39 years old. I’m not old, but I’m certainly no longer young. My body is not as resilient as it once was. Moreover, I’m starting from a base of almost no fitness: years spent sitting in front of a computer and rarely taking more than 2,000 steps a day.

While my exertions were lighter, my body could handle it. Now, however, it seems to be saying, “Whoa, cowboy — let’s build some muscle first, shall we?” I’ve experienced shin splints, IT band syndrome, and now a pulled groin. (Last night we played kickball with some friends. On the very first play of the game, I lunged toward third base. As I did, I pulled my groin. I wasn’t happy.)

If I’m suffering physically, it’s nothing compared to my mental gyrations. “I quit!” I told myself as I was walking back to my car today. “I’m done.” But that’s bullshit. I don’t quit. I’m not done. I may, however, need to reevaluate my priorities.

I’ve spent the past two hours trying to decide what it is I want to do and why. Here are the things I’ve come up with:

• I want to run a marathon. I recognize this is not a sign of fitness. It is, however, something I’ve always wanted to do, and something that will require me to be in peak physical shape. But do I need to run the 2008 Portland Marathon? What if I changed my goal to the 2009 Portland Marathon? What if I gave myself an extra nine months to allow my body adapt to running and, especially, to lose weight.
• I want to reach a healthy weight. Most of my physical problems can be directly traced to my weight. Though I’ve lost nearly twenty pounds since I began on January 1st, I’m still at least twenty pounds too heavy. This extra mass causes extra strain on my body. Every time I run, every time I do pushups, every time I do anything, my bones and sinews have to work harder.
• I want to continue my weight training. Through this entire process, my weight training has been the one thing I’ve done constantly well. I go to the gym a couple times each week and do the Body for Life program, carefully noting my perceived effort, and gradually increasing the difficulty of the exercises. My body has changed noticeably as a result. Earlier this year, I stopped my lower-body weight training. I felt like it was interfering with my running. I want to resume the lower-body lifting.
• I want to become more flexible. Years of sedentary living have made me rigid as a board. I’ve spent the past month stretching for ten minutes three times a day. That’s good, but I’d like to do more. Maybe it’s time to find a regular yoga class. I don’t know. Whatever the case, I think that developing flexibility is going to be key to allowing me to run regularly in the future. As Pam has said, some people need to stretch, some don’t. But those that need it, really need it. I’m one of those who need it.

So what does this all means in terms of the actions I’ll take? I don’t know. On Monday, I think I’m going to try to set an appointment with a physical therapist. This is the last step I’ll take before deciding whether or not to attempt this year’s marathon. If that goes poorly, or if the therapist recommends against it, then I’ll shift my focus to 2009. I have no idea what I’ll do about Cycle Oregon at this point.

Meanwhile, I’m going to make another pass through the Body for Life 12-week program. While I followed it last spring, I was focused and happy about my progress. I liked the variety. And it’ll let me get some running in, even if it’s just quick bursts.

Who knows what the future holds?

Have a heart
I’ve been especially pleased with the ongoing improvements to my aerobic fitness. My heart rates have been dropping slowly but steadily over the past few weeks. This tells me that my lung capacity is improving.

Subjectively I’ve noticed the difference, too. The big hill a couple miles north of the house is still a pain, but not as much as it used to be. Earlier this year, I had to get off and walk my bike to make it to the top. Then I got so I could ride up, even though it made me feel like death. Now I can get up with only a moderate amount of panting. Before long it’ll be easy!

My improved cardiorespiratory endurance has also helped on the long marathon training runs.

Stiff as a board
There have been some setbacks, too, though. As you’ll recall, my doctor declared that I was as flexible as a two-by-four, and instructed me to stretch several times a day. I’ve been doing that. At first it seemed to help, but now I feel as if the stretches don’t do much. (Maybe it’s time to add something new?)

This is a problem because I’ve come to realize that many of my aches and pains really are related to my lack of flexibility. Yesterday, for example, I stood from this chair to go do my noon stretches, and in doing so I pulled something in my right hip. Just by standing! I feel like an old man.

A sore knee
My worst current injury, however, is in my left knee. When I awoke on Saturday to go for our sixteen mile trail run, my IT band pain was gone but my left knee was sore. (This was new. It hadn’t been sore before.) I ran a couple miles, but the pain just seemed to increase, especially when running downhill. Eventually, at mile four, I stopped and turned around. I walked out of the forest to my car.

Mentally, this sucked. Physically, the pain isn’t too bad for most normal movement, but it comes on strong when I walk down stairs or when I walk across our uneven lawn. My knee even hurts a little when I’m biking.

I suspect this may just be the problem with my IT band, but moved lower on the leg. Before, the pain was about mid-thigh. Now it’s directly at the side of the knee, which I understand to be a common place for IT band to manifest itself.

Whatever the case, I don’t like it.

Moving forward
Meanwhile, I continue to progress with my weight-training program. After a longish plateau, I bumped some of my weights up last week. Also, I’m ready to try some new exercises (including the barbell bench press).

I’m doing fairly well with my water-only routine for July, and feel better because of it. (Maybe this is only mental — I don’t care.) I’m focusing on portion size a lot lately, and have been trying to choose fruits and vegetables more.

Now, if only my body would heal itself completely, I’d feel like everything was peachy!

Some of you will recognize right away what this means: Saturday mornings are my time for marathon training. If I’m sitting at my desk writing, I’m not outside running. My sore quad is still enough of a concern that I opted not to run this morning.

This isn’t completely bad, however. The soreness is definitely improving. When I walk over flat surfaces, there’s no pain at all — just a sort of vague tightness. But when I walk up and down the stairs, or when I jog, there’s still some pain. It’s not a stabbing pain as it was earlier in the week, but it’s sore nonetheless. After consulting with my coach (Mac’s wife, Dr. Pam), we both decided it would be best for me to skip today’s run. (Although it’s a run I’ve been looking forward to for weeks — a completely flat course over a multi-use path that runs near my home.)

“How far is this going to set me back?” I asked Pam. I was worried about not having run since Monday’s race. “Am I going to fall behind?”

“You should be okay,” she said, “especially if you can find other cardio workouts to do next week. You won’t be able to jump into the longest distance [15 miles next week], but you should be able to start where you left off [13 miles].”

It seems strange to think I might have to go almost two weeks without running. It’s become an important part of my life. But in order for it to continue as an important part of my life, I need to be cautious of injury…

1. When I started lifting weights three months ago, my shoulders were weak. They were so weak that it hurt to do even three-pound seated dumbbell raises. Well, my shoulders are still weak, but they’re getting stronger, and the pain has diminished. But I haven’t really been testing them. Today, though, some wise guy had absconded with the 7-1/2 pound weights, which meant that in order to do the dumbbell raises, I had to go far beyond what I’ve normally been lifting. You know what? I did 15 pounds. There was some weakness, sure, but no pain. And I never would have tried if my normal weights had been there.
2. Meanwhile, my left quad has some very real, very intense pain. I still haven’t learned to run properly on hills, and Monday’s race simply exacerbated the problem that had been lingering for ten days. Now walking down the stairs brings stabbing pain. At the gym today, I walked for a mile, and that seemed to help. Then I tried to jog. Nothing doing. I may have to skip this weekend’s marathon training run. I hope not, but it’s certainly a possibility.

One final note: because the gym has been so motivational, I signed up for another three months today. Not frugal, I know, but my philosophy is if it’s getting me in shape, it’s worth the cost. I’m thinking I may actually try the Tuesday and Thursday evening yoga classes. Besides, they gave me a discounted rate this time: they only charged me $32/month instead of $40/month!